She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
Randomize
