It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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