Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
