stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Couch. On fire.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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