saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I cannot believe you needed a note to remind yourself to ask me about the fourteen sleeping Mexicans.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
She's celebrating a tinder-match-aversary and I'm not about that.
His nipple licking is glorious
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