she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Randomize
