My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
