I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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