I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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