hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
