Pappa wants mamma naked
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
