I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize