i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
