I wanna bring you to show and tell
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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