i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
