spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
