wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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