I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
