i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
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