Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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