How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I just gift wrapped bread.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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