i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Randomize
