kristin has been a bad kristin
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
