so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
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