Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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