Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
