It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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