its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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