Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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