careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I have a new game. It's called "how weird can you act before a guy won't fuck you". I've deducted most guys are willing even if you're batshit insane.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
