using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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