I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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