Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
