your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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