If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize