is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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