Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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