dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Randomize
