i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Also, beer. Big fan.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
Randomize
