She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
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