Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
