It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
