If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
