Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
