i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
The uberlube is also flammable
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Randomize
