if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
