My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
