You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Randomize
