Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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