I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
Randomize
