And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Randomize
