Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
i knew it was going to be a good night when i was bleeding, licked it and it tasted like miller light
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
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