This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
Randomize
