I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Houston, we have a blender
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
