u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
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