Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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