you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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