Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
