I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
Randomize
