If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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