I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
