you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize
