Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
The free coupon that printed out with the purchase of my plan b emergency contraception was for allergy meds. I feel like a coupon for condoms would've been more fitting in this situation.
Oh wait. It's for wart remover. Fitting, afterall.
Randomize
