the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Randomize
