Porn is love you can see.
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
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