I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
