Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize
