this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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