I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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