so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
and you said cock pushups were impossible
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
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